Pedal hard, pump harder

What do closing the door, shutting you out, high/low line, low/high line, pumping, and manual all have in common?  BMX of course!

Last weekend was all about BMX.  I raced Rad Canyon Indoor BMX Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  The folks over at Rad Canyon put on a stellar series.  I have heard that their outdoor series is the largest in the country!

Why the attraction to BMX?  I'm not sure.  A few years ago I thought about trying it, but my plate was full and it never really fit in my schedule.  So, since I'm currently not officially training - yet- it is perfect timing to try something different.  I also like that I can go race BMX and have no expectations and therefore no disappointments.  Just pure joy of being silly on my (er....a borrowed) BMX bike.  That is a good thing in my life right now.

I've only ridden a BMX bike four times-the same number of times I've raced- but I've quickly learned that there are other reasons to love BMX.  Here are my top 5 reasons:

1. No chamois necessary.  That is because in BMX racing you are either standing up hammering or pumping jumps....for about 45 seconds at a time.  There may as well not even be a saddle because you don't sit on it.  Cross-country mountain bikers often joke that chamois time is training time.  I'm not sure how this equates in BMX.  I had NO chamois time last weekend, so I guess no training time?  In case you're wondering what people do wear.  The cool kids wear the equivalent of cross country racer's sponsor kits but in BMX style.  (Baggy, pull-over jersey with sponsor logos and long, baggy pants).  The super cool kids have their name, nickname, and ranking on their jersey.  Since I'm not cool nor super cool at BMX, I wear jeans and a sweatshirt.  
2. The key to being fast at BMX (as I overheard a 5-year old girl tell her friend) is to pedal REALLY hard and pump REALLY hard.  Sounds simple enough, right?
3. You don't have to be super fit (although I'm sure the top racers are), but if you are not fit, you better have skills and tactics.  I think if BMX racing were a time trial, I'd do great.  Well, it is not a time trial and I apparently don't have skills or tactics.  I get blocked a lot on the parts of the course where I can go fast and passed a lot on the jumps so that I can then be blocked again where pedaling is required.  
4. BMX racing has a way of making you feel really young....or old....depending on how you look at it.  Practice is divided into 13 and under and 14 and over.  They don't card you or anything, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't get mistaken for belonging in the 13 and under group.  On the other hand, Sunday I got my ass handed to me by a 12-year-old.  (In my defense, she is supposedly really, really good:)  In BMX (cruiser-24" wheels) there are no categories for beginners, intermediates, or experts.  It is divided by age-group.  If there are not enough people to fill an age-group, they are combined.  Sunday, the youngest person in my race was 12. The oldest in her 40s.  It was awesome!
5. It appears as though trophies are very important in BMX.  One of the FAQ on the RAD Canyon website is 'How big are the first place trophies?'  In case you are wondering, the answer is...."First place trophies for a regular race are 16-18".  Double points races are larger and triple points can be 36" or taller"!  
6. Okay, I can't limit it to just five.  Finally, BMX is awesome because it is cheap!  The only requirements are that you wear long pants, long shirt, and a helmet.  Easy enough.  Pretty much any bike goes (in the cruiser group), although having a legitimate BMX cruiser bike appears advantageous.  A full-face helmet is not mandatory, but probably a good idea as well.  Races cost $10.

Me & the Park City dirt jumpers.  We were all BMX newbies.  

(Photo Aaron Kruger)

Old people do BMX.  Photo from old guy (&girl) clinic.  

(I'm bottom right, Shannon is back row ~4 from right)

As for how the racing went....since I had no expectations, AWESOME!  I am most proud of the fact that my starts are improving every singe race.  I went from 2-weeks ago being waaaay off the back at the starts, to last Sunday being 2nd (behind that dang 12-year old) until the first big jump where I proceeded to get passed by 3 girls and then shut out in the first corner where I can go fast.  So according to that 5-year old girl, since I can pedal hard, I just need to learn how to pump hard and I will be fast at BMX.  Simple enough!

After cancer.......

It is now over four months since my last chemotherapy treatment (June 17th) and three months since my last surgery (August 15).  I am completely healed from surgery and done with cancer treatment. (although technically I still have 4 years 9 months to go before I take my last Tamoxifen pill).

In general I feel good; better than I thought I would feel at this point in my recovery.  There is a sense of normalcy back in my life as I have started preparing my body, with a bit more focus, to 'officially' start training for the 2012 race season in January.  My atrophied upper extremity muscles (due to surgery) are getting stronger every week.  I would estimate that at this point I have regained approximately 75% of my upper extremity strength.  Every day on the bike is a great day.

As much as I want to move on and look optimistically to the future, I have reminders each and every day of what I've been through and what still lies ahead.

There are physical reminders.  I now have five new scars to add to my collection of scars scattered over my body.  Obviously there is the mastectomy scar, there is also the sentinel node biopsy scar, breast biopsy scar, axillary biopsy scar, and two scars where the drains were post-mastectomy.  I have always been fond of the scars on my body, they tell the story of my life, but for some reason these scars are just....different.  I could do without these five new scars.

I am also adjusting to my new body (i.e. breasts).  I really, really liked my former body.  I liked the way it looked and the way it felt.  I will admit that it is possible I have put my former body on a bit of a pedestal and 'think' I liked it more than I really did.  Regardless, my body is different, and I am working on getting used to it. Fortunately each day my new body is feeling more and more like mine.  I spend a lot less time examining and scrutinizing it in the mirror.  My new breasts are feeling so much like my own that I no longer fear crashing my bike and damaging them.

Daily medication and side effects also make it difficult to put this year completely behind me.  Each morning I pop a Tamoxifen pill.  Tamoxifen is a very powerful anti-cancer medication for estrogen receptor positive breast cancer.  This little white pill reduces my risk of local recurrence (yes, cancer can recur in my mastectomy scar or axillary region) and distant recurrence  (metastasis to other organs/bones) as well as developing a new cancer in my other breast by about 50%.  Pretty significant in my eyes.   It is not without side effects, though.  The most frustrating being hot flashes.  Yes, between the chemo and the Tamoxifen, my hormones are completely out of whack; possibly permanently.  I often get hot flashes at night that wake me up in a hot sweat.  Then I get cold because I am sweaty.  This makes me cranky because not only is it a reminder that cancer treatment has put my 35 year-old body into essentially menopause, but I don't like being awoken in the middle of the night!  The 50% reduction makes it worth it though.

Then there is the fatigue.  I realize that I am fortunate that I have been able to exercise consistently through and after treatment, but there does seem to be some mild fatigue.  It is very subtle and sometimes I am not even sure if it is real, but I do know that after a long day at work my brain is tired and I need a short nap before I can even consider doing my workout.  I have a lot of second guessing in how hard to push myself and how long to recover from hard workouts.....and even when I should start racing seriously again......will it take my body a month to recover from a 100miler?  will I ever be able to recover fast enough to do a stage race again?  will I be competitive?

Finally, there are the doctor's appointments.  Granted, it is wonderful to not have weekly appointments, but routine oncology visits will never go away, ever.  That is because with (invasive) breast cancer you never know if you are cured.  That is, and I'll put it bluntly, until you die of something else.  It can come back in 6 months or 20 years.  Honestly, I don't know where these billboard statistics of 99% cure rate if caught early come from.  My guess, Stage 0 (non-invasive) cancer.  Anyhow, I digress....  Since risk of recurrence (both local and distant) IS greatest in the first 5 years, I am to see my medical oncologist and surgical oncologist every 6 months.  I also alternate mammogram, MRI, and sonocine every 6 months.  My plastic surgeon would also like to see me annually.  Each appointment and test will likely bring some fear in what may be found.  I believe this gives a whole new meaning to 'test anxiety'.

I've recently been looking at photos of me from last year this time.   Even though it was only one year ago, I see a sense of innocence in me in those photos.  I had cancer at that time, but I didn't know it.  To have so few worries, such freedom, I miss that.....

So I have a few more things to think about than I did before I was diagnosed with cancer last January.  Who knows, maybe someday I won't think about these things but in the meantime life is different.  I am different.

In 2008 racing TransRockies was the hardest thing I had ever done.  Many of the days were cold and wet.  I had been battling a foot injury all summer and developed a knee injury on day 2 (of 7) of the race.  When I returned, everything seemed easier.  I thought, if I can finish this race, I can do anything.  In comparison to what I have done this year, TransRockies was cake.  Who knows what I can do now.

RAD

Overall, this week was just rad.

It started with my birthday Monday.  Yep, I'm a Halloween baby.  It was a beautiful fall day and I spent most of it in the mountains.  A great start to my 36th year....

Tuesday I found out that I was selected by Cycling Utah as Female Rider of the Year.  To put this in perspective, the Utah Rider of the Year title has been awarded to Tour de France stage winners in the past.  I am completely speechless about this honor.  Okay, I will say this...  The love and support I have received from the Utah cycling community has helped me beyond words get through this difficult year.  Thank you.  I hope that I can live up to this honor.  I plan to work hard, doing what I love, and return to racing as strong as ever.  Maybe reading my story will help newly diagnosed women to be a little less scared about cancer treatment.  This higher purpose is definitely aiding in fueling my fire now.

Thursday and Friday I started working on my 2012 race schedule.  Somehow, it keeps getting more and more ambitious.  It is certainly not solidified yet, and some of it will depend on how my body responds and recovers from actual training and racing, but so far, in my opinion, it is a perfect mix of my favorite classics and new and exciting events.  I am really, really, REALLY excited.

Today, to conclude an already incredible week, Shannon and I raced BMX at RAD Canyon.  This was my first time on a BMX bike,  I had a loaner, and it did not disappoint.  We participated in a clinic in the morning where I (along with about thirty 10 year olds:) learned some basic BMX techniques such as taking the high/low line and how to survive the starting gate.  I never did master the track-stand (something to work on) in the starting gate and my starts paid dearly, however I had a great time drilling it for the 45 second effort.  I also need to work on my post-race high five and fist bump coordination with my fellow competitors.  I quickly learned that BMX racing is different from mountain bike racing as blocking and cutting racers off is acceptable and even encouraged.  We had so much fun; I will definitely go back.  First I need to sharpen my elbows though:)

Weekend update

Yesterday I raced my cross bike-singlespeed.  It was the annual Cross out Cancer race/fundraiser and I wanted to support the event.  I usually (as in pre-cancer) race with the A women, but I decided to race singlespeed for two reasons:

1.  I didn't want to take the race too seriously and I knew that if I raced A I it would be impossible for me not to.

2.  The A women are fast.  They scare me right now:)

I definitely succeeded in not taking the race too seriously.  I missed the start.  I have never done that before and it is kind of embarrassing. I take full responsibility, but here is how it went down.  Three categories were to go off with 1-minute staggered starts.  The order was posted to be Men B at 11:15, Singlespeed Men at 11:16, and Singlespeed women at 11:17.  I figured there was a possibility that the Singlespeed men and women would go off together because the women's category is so small, so I was socializing not far from the start line at the Revolution tent, keeping an eye on the start, and waiting for the Men B to take off before I rode over.  Next thing I know the Singlespeeders were off and the other lone woman was with them.  Duh!  Apparently Bob (my friend) talked the official into starting the singlespeeders before the Men B category to help with course congestion.   Thanks Bob:) I rode over to the start and it took a minute before I figured out exactly what happened....and then I was off, with 50 Men Bs not far behind.  I felt kind of stupid riding alone, but was giggling to myself, and enjoying the new excitement I created for the race.  It wasn't long before I realized I had made stupid mistake #2 when I hit the first rough singletrack section.  Since I hadn't done a hot lap on the course, I didn't realize that I had way too little air in my rear tire.  I was bottoming out on everything and was relieved that I made it safely to the Revolution tent for some air at the end of the lap.  (Thanks Theresa for holding my bike while I put more air in my rear tire).  The rest of the race went much better and I was able to catch the other woman and take the win.  More importantly, I felt really good and had a blast.  

 (Those are dollar bills in my shorts.  Thank you random spectators for the hand-ups:)  I will be donating them to Cross Out Cancer.  Wouldn't it be cool if everyone, for the rest of the series, donated their cash hand-ups to Cross out Cancer?

(Photo credit: Cycling Utah)

Today, I definitely paid for yesterday's gear mashing effort.  My whole body is tired, but that didn't stop me from riding the Crest trail with friends for what may be the last big mountain ride before the snow flies.  I brought Flat Stanley along for the ride.  I'm not sure exactly what Flat Stanley is, but my niece asked me to take him cool places and take photos.  Today he posed for pictures at the top of Puke Hill.  

I hope Stan had fun.  I know I did!

Utah Cyclocross-Cross Out Cancer

This weekend is the 2nd annual Utah Cyclocross-Cross Out Cancer event.  The Utah Cyclocross series (UTCX) is a 12 race series that is hugely popular in Northern Utah.  Last year, the promoters decided to dedicate one of the races as a fundraiser for Livestrong Foundation.  It was incredibly successful and they have committed to the Cross Out Cancer event again this year in hopes to raise money for Huntsman Cancer Foundation in addition to Livestrong.


The day is packed full of fun with something for everyone.  There is a 5k trail run in the morning and a fun ride later in the day.  Between these two charity events will be cyclocross racing.  In cyclocross racing, racers ride basically a road bike with a little beefier tire.  They race around a relatively short circuit and have to get off their bike and run over barriers. 

It is incredibly spectator friendly and rowdy spectators and heckling of the racers is actually encouraged!  The beefier tire is necessary because racing is mostly on dirt in the Fall when it is typically cold, rainy, or snowy.  

This weekend is looking to be beautiful though.  There will also be a silent auction all day long where you can bid on fantastic schwag.  Proceeds go to Huntsman Cancer Foundation and Livestrong Foundation.  


Here is basic information for the event:
Where: Wheeler Farm
When:  October 18, 2011
Schedule:
7:15  Registration opens
8:00  Start of 5k trail run
9:00  Silent Auction Opens for Bids
9:10 Course open for pre-ride
9:30 Racing begins (I'm going off at 11:15)
1:25 Fun ride
3:00 Silent Auction Bidding Closes


If you cant make the event, you can still participate by donating!  I have set up a page for donations.  Of course, every small amount is truly appreciated.  I recently saw a statistic where it was projected that a total of 1,596,670 new cancer cases and 571,950 deaths from cancer will occur in the United States in 2011 alone! (CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians Volume 61, Issue 4, pages 212–236, July/August 2011)  Clearly cancer affects many and continued research is imperative.


If you would like to donate, click here.  Donations can be made through the middle of December.  100% of the donations will go directly to research.  

There is pink everywhere

It is hard to go anywhere this month without noticing the pink.  I don't know when pink started to symbolize breast cancer or when breast cancer started having its very own month, but I notice now.  Although pink is not my absolute favorite color, never has been, I truly appreciate the recognition the color brings to a disease that affects 1 in 8 women.

Early detection directly correlates with survival, so in honor of breast cancer awareness month, I ask that everyone do a self breast exam.

Although self breast exams are controversial because research does not show an increase in survival by women who routinely do breast self-exams, I stand here to say, the cancer I had would have been discovered at a much later stage had I not done a self breast exam.  Staging does affect survival, and although I realize there are no guarantees, I feel very fortunate that I found this lump at a fairly early stage and followed up on it. Otherwise, it likely would not have been discovered until I started doing routine mammograms at age 40.  Even then, it may not have shown up on mammogram.  

As I've mentioned before, mammograms are not always effective for young women.  Young women tend to have dense breast tissue that shows up as white on a mammogram.  Cancer also shows up as white.  My entire mammogram was white because of my dense breast tissue so any cancer that was there could not be seen.  The density of my breast tissue may or may not have changed in the next 5 years and this is one of the reasons that mammograms are not recommended routinely until age 40 (or 50 depending on the source).  Regardless, in 5-years time my cancer would have most likely been more progressed.

Okay, I digressed, but hopefully emphasized my point, just do a self breast exam........

and on a lighter note, my hair is growing in really thick.  I have always had incredibly think hair; too thick in my opinion, and it looks like post-chemo that has not changed.  So far it is a bit darker than it was before, but perhaps that is because it hasn't had a chance to get bleached by the sun.  I'm not one to take lots of photos of myself, but when they include Dizzy I'm game.  We took these this morning.

Dizzy on the deck looking for treats in my hand

Dizzy in the backyard looking for treats in my hand

Dizzy being cute hoping to get more treats

Dizzy showing that he is done taking photos

As you can see in the photos, it is a beautiful October day in Utah.  We're off to ride mountain bikes.  I hope everyone is enjoying the great weekend.  After a self breast exam.

A really cool thing.......

Last week I had the opportunity to participate in a really, really cool thing.

The Utah State Championship Series (USCS) is a new 4-race mountain bike series in Utah.  The promoters, whom I know well, are all really great guys and decided long before the first race of the series that they wanted to give back to the community. So it was decided that $5 from each entry fee along with money made from an opportunity raffle and Silver Bean coffee sales would be donated to Huntsman Cancer Foundation.  Coincidentally my husband is one of the aforementioned 'great guys' and even more coincidentally it was decided that the money be donated to Huntsman Cancer Foundation before I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

So, for the first time ever, I stepped into Huntsman Cancer Institute not as a patient, but as part of a really great group of people donating $5000 to cancer research.  There was a giant check and everything.

(Note:  I have more hair than 33% of the people in this photo:)

Even cooler was how genuinely excited the Huntsman Cancer Foundation event planners were about the $5000 donation.  $5000 is a lot of money, but compared to the millions that Huntsman donates, it is pocket change.  Regardless, the sincere appreciation made it seem like a million was donated.   We were also reassured that 100% of the $5000 would be used for cancer research.

I hope that the USCS continues to grow and is able to increase the donation next year.  This year a brick on the 'path of hope' will mark the USCS donation.  Maybe in a few years it will be a hospital wing.  Better yet, bikes for the fitness center.